I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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