she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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