just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
