lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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