i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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