But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
