it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
