It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
