Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
