pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
