Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
