its not stalking. its research.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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