You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
