When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A bitchslap is in order.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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