I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
