I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
