We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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