Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
