if only i could text you this smell
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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