I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I bet he comes in French.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
