I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
