doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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