yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
