so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
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Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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