Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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