I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
