Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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