Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
