People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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