I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge