nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
