Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

How did people poop without Blackberrys?

(416): View more from Ontario

Motorola Razers?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Stone age, man.

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(902): How did people poop without Blackberrys? (416): Motorola Razers? (902): Stone age, man. http://tfl.nu/a751

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home

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(918): I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home http://tfl.nu/0qps

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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(910): He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn. http://tfl.nu/hrhg

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(585): View more from New York

I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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(585): I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet. http://tfl.nu/fy09

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(914): View more from New York

i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.

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(914): i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/xwvv

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(510): View more from California

I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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(510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.

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(321): Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked. http://tfl.nu/cr3f

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties

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(731): He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties http://tfl.nu/51c2

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(919): View more from North Carolina

what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

"bouncy castle"

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(919): what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl" (1-919): "bouncy castle" http://tfl.nu/3vde

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

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(318): Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION. http://tfl.nu/w8c8

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(503): View more from Oregon

I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

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(503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg

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(989): View more from Michigan

He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.

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(989): He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT. http://tfl.nu/p01t

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

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(307): Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER. http://tfl.nu/f1x9

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(925): View more from California

WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.

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(925): WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES. http://tfl.nu/71kq

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(757): View more from Virginia

Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.

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(757): Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant. http://tfl.nu/nvyb

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