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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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• (925): View more from California

  after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?

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  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS

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• (909): View more from California

  HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE

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