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How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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