3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
