you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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