watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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