I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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