remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
