Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
