East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I had to cum in my sink.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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