Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found puke in my bra..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
