there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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