The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
