I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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