No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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