i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
