Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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