my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Of course I have a pirate flag
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
