Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
