What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
