i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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