Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
