Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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