I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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