I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
