There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just found puke in my bra..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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