we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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