so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
