Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
