Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
