that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
