i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
