Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
