I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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