overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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