Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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