you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so let's talk penis.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
